Women of the World or of the Word?

This morning, after I'd put the kids on the bus, I sat down in the living room to watch the news and enjoy a nice cup of coffee when a commercial came on that caught my attention.

I think the ad was for some kind of mouthwash where it promises to give you breath that is fresh and minty. The man in the ad uses the mouthwash and then goes out for a night on the town where he is overrun by beautiful scantily-clad women lured in by his minty breath. The women are draping themselves over him in an embarrassing effort to be close enough to touch him. The man is not the least put off and wraps his are indiscriminately around the nearest women to pull them close.

The commercial ended, and was followed by another.

A camera ad showing a beautiful little baby all warm and sleepy in his crib. The mom and dad gaze lovingly at the baby and each other. Dad put his arm around mom and draws her close as they look with adoration on their little child, so sweet and innocent. Mom uses the camera to capture images of her precious son, and many shots are shown of her looking on her child with a smile and tears of joy in her eyes as she marvels at the life before her.

The commercial ended and I paused to think. Two types of women. Two lifestyles. I have lived them both, and I know which one leads to true joy.

The world lies to us. It tells us that beauty and sexual power leads to happiness. It tells us that we will find joy in sharing our bed with people who please us and are attractive to us. It tells us that we need to always look perfect to please a man. That our value is skin deep. For a while we believe it. We play the game, but in the end we lose. We lose all that we give away to the men who thought we were beautiful and sexy and took what we offered until we had nothing left to give.....and then we are left with nothing.

The Word of God speaks truth. It tells us that we are precious inside and God doesn't care what we look like on the outside. Don't get me wrong, God created us to be sexual beings, but he didn't make it so we would use it to hold power over another, but to share within marriage to increase intimacy, to have something sacred and secret that is privy to no one else. True love is based on the heart and soul and it nourishes and cherishes. It creates the kind of marriage that makes a solid foundation for a family, just as God intended....and it is so much more satisfying.

So, when I saw those two ads back-to-back, I guess it spoke to me about what I had and what I have. What I have is so much better, I am so much happier. I am so blessed to share a life with people who love me for me, and who I love for them.....the inside, the heart, not the outside. I am so thankful to God that I did not continue in the lifestyle of my past, but I now have a future and a hope. In a word....FREEDOM!

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” Proverbs 31:10, 27-28

Alone in a House Full of People

Do you ever feel alone? I find myself waiting all day for my kids to come home from school so I can see their sweet faces. My husband, Mark works 7 days a week, not always because he has to, but because that is what he knows. He comes home for supper most nights, eats, but then spends the rest of the evening glued to the TV with either video games with the kids or TV shows once the kids are in bed. I clear the supper dishes and listen to their happy voices float in from the living room.....and feel utterly alone. Now, it is just like all day. I am once again alone.

At 7:00 I call out, "Okay guys! Bed time in half an hour!" And am greeted by disbelief. "What?" they reply. "Half an hour!" But they relent. They know I am right, but I hate to always be the one to tell them. For once I'd like to be the fun parent. The one they laugh with.

I tried an experiment once. I left them playing and waited to see when someone would notice the time. The minutes turned to hours and by the time they noticed, the sun had faded away and the living room was plunged into darkness. 9PM. I waited...alone until 9PM before they realized that Mom hadn't come to get them for bed. It took them THAT long to notice I wasn't there.

It is Saturday today. One of the rare days where Mark actually came home before dinner and where is my family? My youngest is over at a friend's house and my older two and my husband are playing on the Wii.....and I am in the basement, alone on my laptop. They didn't even notice when I left the room. My heart breaks. "Let's go for a walk." I suggest. The sun is out and the day is glorious. "No. We want to play with dad and he wants to play Wii."

What do I do? My middle daughter, Molly, was supposed to have put her laundry away before her dad came home. I reminded her about it AGAIN and Mark said, "Don't worry about it. I came home to see them. I'll get her to do it before dinner." As odd as this sounds, the part that hurt was the part where he told me he came home to see them...them. I love that he loves his kids and, don't get me wrong, he is a good husband and he loves me...he just doesn't see me anymore...not really. I wash his clothes and cook his dinner and raise his children,share his bed - though not in the way I'd like to any more - but somewhere along the way I think he forgot how to love me...how to nurture me. He forgot how to see me.

Thank God I have the love of Christ. He never forgets me. The Bible tells me he sings over me, He had carved me into the palm of His hand....He sent His one and only Son to die for me so that I might be in Heaven with Him one day. There is a line from a song by Casting Crowns that says, 'I know You're there. I know you see me.." I love it! I sing it all the time. God is enough. I'd like to say it can totally take the place of being seen and noticed by your husband, but some days are just harder than others. Today is one of them.

Dear God, thank you for always loving me. Thank you for always cherishing and listening to me. I believe you have made me special and you love me. Please help heal the lonely ache of my heart and help me to be the wife and mother You have called me to be. I love you Lord! In Jesus name. Amen